Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Thoughts on losing enthusiasm

I did a side job as a flu-shot clinic nurse.  Gave over 100 injections today!  Phew.

It's very different from ED nursing, that's for sure, and I met some up and coming nursing students who were very excited about learning- something I've lost.

I volunteered to be paired with a nursing student this upcoming winter, but I'm not 100% sure I'll be chosen.  I think that there are some very-experienced nurses in the department who might also volunteer, which means my 2.5+ years will pale in comparison.

I'm losing enthusiasm for my job.  It's tiring work and I know it's rewarding but I keep finding myself looking elsewhere.  I have put some resume's out there for jobs I'm not 100% qualified for (as I've pretty much done NOTHING with my health-related MSc ) but are a better fit with both the RN and the MSc.  So far no bites.  That and it's hard to think about going to a temporary job (that will be great for the resume) and giving up a full time position (which will most likely not be there when the temp job finishes).  The trouble is that I enjoy being in Emerg- it's the best fit and when things happen I really LIKE it.  I just don't know if I enjoy being there ALL THE TIME.  As I'm sure you know, the real life ED is not as glamorous as it sounds like it could be.  I knew this going in, but once you're really entrenched (and almost literally up to your eyeballs in shit) you REALLY know.

What is keeping me from applying to those temp jobs is that I want the 5 years nursing experience that I'll need to do ANY nursing job or nursing leadership position.  These jobs aren't specifically nursing-related although still within the health care field. Without that nursing experience, I would not be able to advance further in hospital-type jobs... at the very least it would be extremely difficult.  I'm not saying I'd want to completely be a clipboard nurse but SOME clipboard action may be nice.  Haha. I'm sure some of my hero nurse-bloggers would scorn at the thought of being a clipboard nurse :P  It is a romantic idea to scorn leadership, keep it only about the patients and the patient-welfare without thought of politics or administration.  However, some part of me, even when I wasn't in nursing, thought I would like being a health administrator. Unfortunately in my town it does not host governmental type jobs in health admin except at the hospital level.

All in all, I guess the grass is always greener on the other side. I have a friend who was casual but working full-time hours, who moved to the next town to work as an physician office admin.  However, that job fell through (through no fault of my friend), and now she's straddling 2-3 jobs as a casual just to make ends meet.   She would be furious if she found out that I gave up a permanent full time position to go to a temporary job.

 I really don't know what the right answer is, or what's the best fit for me, but I'll keep pressing on and try to keep my chin up. 


Anonymous said...

I've been working telemetry for almost three years now (long enough to have lost all illusions about my job), and I'm having those same feelings.

A Nurse's Curses said...

I worked in medical and went back to school so I could feel better about the work I do. I felt that way for 2 months, now I'm working in high acuity and totally disenchanted again. I wonder if it really does get better?

Just Me said...

I also want to share. I work at an educational foundation with a small salary, but I'm happy to be there. To increase my income, I also sell herbs

Yes, it is tiring, but fun. I live on it not as a burden, but as a pleasure because I love to meet new people.

My techer said, "set your mindset.It will give a huge energy."

Amy Sellers said...

You'll never know if you truly love a job (or dislike it, for that matter) until you're elbow deep in it. I've recently been going through the same thing. I have 4.5 years in as a cardiovascular ICU nurse and have been wanting a change. I was hesitant to leave my current position because it's great - great people, great flexibility, etc - but you'll never know if you can fly until you jump.

I start my position as a cath lab RN next week :)